Yes, please sit down. I no longer follow the palace protocol,
you know. (posturing of lethal liars!) I've sent my daughter
Asila for refreshments, take your ease. It's frightfully warm
this time of year, isn't it?
Well. To begin: My name is Zahrah al-Zarqa. My name means Grey
Desert Flower, Blooming. Were you my beloved, you could call me
Sarah. ...If you were my beloved.
You already know that I'm a royal, though now untitled, of the
House of al-Sa'ud. I am descended from the fabled
Al-Hamdaniyeh; my other ancestors are Taamri, Rudann, Turfa,
and Fadl. There are others of course, all of them as pure as
any Asil that ever lived, but for now you shall accept my
purity as a given.
Indeed... would you be here if you had not already? Yes.
You ask, "What is purity?" I will tell you.
Purity is submission, willing or unwilling. Purity is
rebellion, rightly or wrong. Purity is the start and end of
all that is goodly, and evilish, and happyful, and despairing.
Such a polite and discrete laugh you have at my choice of
words! I like you. But, listen.
Purity is the way the world looked and felt that day when I
carried my wounded, barefoot beloved to the crest of that
grassy ridge, where we beheld storms gathering with that
muffled thump of thunder miles away.
We were weak from hunger. My beloved was fouled from the flux,
cramped and often retching over my shoulder. He frequently
fainted and fell off. The sun was over our right shoulders
making that special light of autumn at hand, and the tall dry
grass waved in the wind making that dry, whispery sound.
The air seemed stretched to a high keen of a pitch that can't
be heard, torn between the dying heat of summer and the coming
season's cool. My beloved looked through my eyes (he could do
that), and for a single vanishing moment, we both felt
something only distantly happy.
I mean Joy.
Of course, given our proscribed status (so unfair!) we were
both certain we would shortly be killed, but looking back on
that moment on the grassy ridge with my poor beloved, I now
believe that, without the imminence of our murder, the moment
of Joy could not have been.
It was a gift, a sign. A command to be alert for greater
wonders combined with deeper despair. Yes. I see it all now,
safe in my exile, comfortable.
Purity is all of this, none of this, and something else again.
Ah, here are our refreshments carried by my ever-tardy Asila.
You little twit, you forgot the cakes! You what?! NO, they were
NOT for you! Tell Cook to make another batch, and keep your
nose out of them! Go!
Yes. Well. I love iced drinks. Especially good in this heat.
Don't you agree?
There. Are you comfortable? Good. We have much to discuss. You
shall be my honored guest. You are under my protection.
We shall be friends.
I insist.